Working Man

Someone: "What does he do?"

Someone Else: "He's in Private Equity"

Someone: "Pete, what is it that you do?"

Pete: " I don't know"

Befuddled

"How is it that someone can play basketball 3 times a week for 4 years and not get any better? Seriously? Either you are a complete moron or you should just stop playing basketball altogether"

What Else?

"Why would I ever go north of 23rd Street. Seriously? I mean, I'll go to the Garden, but really, there's absolutely no reason."

25

Me: "Hey Pete, guess what? We've been trying for a while and finally my girlfriend and I are pregnant!"

Pete: "Uh-oh. That's not good"

Passport?

"Why would I ever need a passport? A passport? C'mon, seriously? Anywhere outside of New York doesn't even have paved streets or running water."

"Well, everywhere but Penn State."